INFJ MUSINGS

Waves

Ebbing and flowing

Up and down

The connection between the world within us
And the world outside

Can you see the mirror?

Am I brave enough to look beyond what’s infront of me

I know I am here for something so much bigger and greater than just “getting by”

The need to numb can become incredibly strong in these confronting moments, when I dont like what the mirror is reflecting.

Letting go of the past, old stories, identities and beliefs that no longer serve who I am and who I am becoming

I scream, cry and dance to the rhythm of the beat that is making its way up to the surface

I see it, hear it and feel it with every inch of my being

I send it off with a kiss and so much gratitude

At one time this is what kept me safe

I dance more, I scream from the inside and I smile

The knowing that the ways of the past and the uncertainty of the future has no hold over me here in the present

I surrender
I let it be
I hold and craddle myself through the process

Letting my shadows come home
I integrate the parts of me I have kept hidden out of fear, the parts I have turned to out of survival

As I ride the waves

I sink deeper into

All

Parts

Of

Me

My roots

Extending
Reaching down
Looking to penetrate

Wanting to feel secure
Looking for grounding
Stability
Wanting to feel home
Somewhere in this world

My womb

Bleeding
A fire burning within
Storing memories
Old energy
Trauma
Shedding
Releasing and self cleansing

Bringing forth the divine
Incubation
Ready to come out kicking and screaming

Caught
Umbilical cord wrapped around my throat
Tightening my capacity to speak into what I’m truly experiencing

Confusion
Feeling lost
Escapism
Denial

Feelings of self betrayal
I cant bare to look
Drowning
In only an inch of water

Searching
Curiosity
Deep inner knowing

Heart

Cracked open
Light fills the cracks
Warmth
I’ve made it through another episode

Sinking deep
Reflection
Transmution
Death
And
Rebirth

Downloading..

Processing..

Upgrading processes

Deep in Configuration
Contemplation
Manifestation

Feeling frustration
Mixed emotions

My wings as they spread, they are still crumpled from the cacoon that holds my healing

Layer by layer
Putting myself together piece by piece

Paitence
Temperance
Attention to detail

Each small stone becomes the collective of a solid foundation

Daily rituals
Become habitual

Hocus pocus
Godammit please focus

Weaving in and out of timelines and reality neither here nor there

Conforming for confirmation
Validation
Over analysation
That may lead one to believe they are living their best life

Influencers
Instagram
Facebook
Posts and stories

The latest trend
He said, she said

The treadmill of updates
Constantly catching up to keep up

Over stimulation
Too much information

Anxiety 101

Who fucking cares anyway?

Periodic shutdown
Disconnect to reconnect

What is truly important here?

That tiny faint whisper, do you hear it?

Thats your heart

Drown out by the noise of comparisonitis

Not enough?
Go fill up your cup

The juice you need is waiting for you on the otherside of the energy your giving away so freely to a highly orchestrated system

Alone time vunerablity ~

Awareness of self
Niggling discomfort
How can I release this?

Acknowledging the past
Feeling the feels
Letting them go

Rawness
Uncomfortable ache
Awkward silence
Futile attempts of distraction

Like brushing past a hedge of thorns
Or climbing a barbed wire fence

My skin is thicker
It no longer bleeds

My curiosity deepens
Bringing my focus back inward

I am coming home
Bringing all versions of me

I embrace them all

I meet them with
Compassion
Kindness
Unconditional love and
Forgiveness

For what I’ve held
Unexpressed
Repressed
Barely addressed
Can no longer hide

I sit with my heart
She whispers

All is well

I sigh with relief
A breath to ground me into the present

I am safe here
No longer in a battlefield
I am free from the emotional prision of the cycle of abuse

I smile
I embrace myself physically in rejoice

This alone time is what waters the seeds of my existance

How amazingly beautiful is it to find yourself over and over

To recognise who you are not only in moments of

Happiness and bliss

But also moments of

Despair and Darkness

The aching of your heart, once broken and discarded
To the cradling and an unapologetic release of what is no longer within your truth

The Freedom that follows emotional release physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is like no other

The returning of you to you

As you were once chained down, prisoner to these events, triggers and emotions

To know all along you had the key and were free to leave as you please
You came and went but you never left the parameter

You didn’t know how

What scared you about Freedom was the uncertainty and being in discomfort of a new space

The recovery and unraveling that would become of you

Now you crave it

Little by little you know it’s the key to your path, your Soul’s journey

The liberation of all the lives you have ever lived

Your mind cannot deny yourself of what’s already yours

Its time to claim it

With

All

Power

To

You

The heart wants what it wants

Referred to when relating to external love.

What if what the heart wants and needs is your love

Direct attention inwards

To you
The authentic you
The one behind all the layers

Dig deeper into who you are
With this layer gone, then that layer

Start letting go of what you know deep down doesnt feel good on you

Even if at one point it felt good, even if you continue something thats slowly destroying you mentally, physically or emotionally

Practicing the art of letting go,

Of identities, roles we play out, stories and patterns that no longer serve our highest good

Let this become an observation

A reminder that our hearts are responding to everything

Software updates from the heart to the mind

An observation brings awareness
Awareness brings perception of a different kind

A birds eye view
One thats unfiltered

It does not know good from bad

Just experience playing out

Our emotions – feedback

As these things are in contrast, we can start to see clearly

Our emotions are our guides

Once we understand that they are watery like the tides and moon dance

Ebbing and flowing

What feels good?
What doesn’t?

Dig deep
Into the discomfort within

The past will always take up space in the present

Breathing in deep,
I hold my breath
And name 3 things im grateful for

Feeling the breath send a kiss goodbye to my body after a warm hug on the inside

I feel like im home

I sit back and reflect on my truth,
Its incredible in how we communicate our mind and body

The nervous system

Calculating

The exact amount of chemicals to protect us from danger

But also alert us and prepare us for what could come if our hormones do send the signal

Fight or flight

Heal the nervous system through self care whilst falling in love with yourself and the process

The journey of the marriage within

Remember?

We agreed to come here to discover what its like to be human.

All
Of
It

Imagine a place
where we exist
For only 80 odd years
On the span of 27000 year cycles

What had come and gone?
When time and space passes
Will we eventually be history

Nothing but
Ruins
On a landscape of lush garderns

A story that
In our life times

We were part of a shift
A shift in consciousness

The age of the aquarius
Shes here
And shes coming for humanity

The veil
Becoming thinner

Eyes wide
Seeing clear

The message
Resounding
Loudly

Vibrating through our cells
Screaming at us
To listen

When will we understand

What one does
Affects another

All of us

As a collective
As humanity
As an eco system
As a planet

When we will we get the message

Economy doesnt mean shit without Ecology

Will pure greed consume us all?

Suck us into the black hole of self
destruction
Verging on extinction
Before we realise

Enough is

Enough

Fragments of time

Swirling
Morphing
Appearing then disappearing

Can you feel yourself coming and going?
From what was to what is

Dissociating
Anticipating
Recalibrating

Cutting cords
Retrieving energy
Bringing the focus back within

You can no longer hide amongst the crowd
Behind the noise
The hustle and bustle

Karmic contracts opening and closing

The masks are dissolving
Shadows appearing
Truths revealing

Are you ready to face another day?

Cleansing and clearing
Bringing forth a new spectrum

We must move into the darkness, the rubble, the mess that is ours

Nothing outside of us can save us

Go within
Befriend the demons
Get comfortable in the dark

We will be here for some time